Why do we ALWAYS fall for the wrong person?

Nice little comic regarding a story you all know very well!

Why do we attract the people we do into our lives? Why do we produce an interest in one person and not the other? Why does the person that seem like my complete polar opposite actually intrigue me romantically and sexually?

That is what the most damaged ones, romantically speaking or otherwise have pondered upon. Some of us have daddy/mommy complexes. Others attract people that mirror their issues and when coming in face with these insecurities, they clash with their significant other. Others are in love with potentials and some just settle because of their insecurities. All these types give rise to unhappy relationships, miserable times, and just more damage to the self in particular.

Let's start with those of us that have mommy/daddy issues. As children, most of us have some sort of attachment to the opposite sex parent; even more so than the same-sex parent. It's our very first idea of love. A woman's first love is her father and a man's first love is his mother. Our home is our idea of what love is. So if the woman's father was an absent, "macho," unaffectionate breadwinner who she always had to work hard getting validation from, that's exactly what she will fall for when she grows older. If the man had a 'damaged' mother who consumed drugs, relied on men that eventually ended up hurting her, he will pursue a similar archetype. By 'saving' his lover, he subconsciously saves his mother and thus dissolves his childhood problems.

Others are instantly drawn to those that mirror their own hidden issues. If I had a bad life, chances are I won't be attracted to innocence and kindness. I may not even understand it. I'll be attracted to someone just as damaged so we could build walls protecting each other from the same cruel world that formerly hurt us both. I'd be the many Bonnies searching hopelessly for her Clyde. A happy, social man with a typical high-paying nine to five job just won't get it. This seems to be especially be true for women. People ask why women are attracted to jerks. It's because they want the illusion of protection and only a damaged soul will get it. Fixing a man who's suffered will band aid our own cuts and bruises especially a powerful man that makes us feel like he could fight the rest of the world for us.

What most people don't understand is that we will all get what we think we need. If you need validation and want attention, but is afraid of emotional intimacy because your shadow self has gotten burnt while seeking it, you will get a man/woman that is distant, cold, doesn't make you promises, and nothing goes anywhere with this person. Eventually you'll reach a point where you can't get out but you can't get in either. You'll feel stuck and you would want out but you'd be too attached.

If you want to bring the law of attraction into this, well our bodies are like dirty mirrors. The light we put forward, is exactly what we get in return. So essentially, our negative thoughts, our shadow sides, our resistance will project forward and manifest into a personification of what we may or may not want consciously.

But how do we change our patterns? Awareness is the answer. What you have to do first is notice your patterns. Notice the type of men or women you attract. Think of a time of a man/woman you would consciously choose to be with but for some reason the spark just wasn't there. Ask yourself why? Let's say you're in a relationship with a man/woman that you don't want to be with but there's an attachment you can't let go. Well give it some time. Notice how she or he triggers you. Let that be a chance for you to do shadow work or just letting your emotions run free and being in a perfect state of allowance. Then once you've decided you want to leave the relationships for good, do it. Communicate with your significant other about your feelings and break free.

After leaving the relationship, cry whenever you need to or if you would rather break something, do it. Go to the gym and run as fast as you can. Use your elliptical arm handles as if you're punching his/her face if you have to. No, he/she doesn't actually deserve to be punched(or maybe they do) but you yourself need to first validate the anger you feel. Then run away from all of the people that made you feel this feeling in your childhood. Feel the power. Feel as if you finally have control over your life. Set yourself free.

What is the point of this? You can't go from despair to instant happiness. Happiness is out of reach vibrationally from despair. So releasing your despair in the form of anger is step one.

Once you've done that, make a to-do list. Make a list of the type of movies you want to watch or a list of the books you want to read. Make a list of the things you want to try and do it. If you have a demanding job, at least watch a movie a day from the movie list. Do whatever you can do to receive joy. Find your place and form your identity. Meet new people. Meet people with common interests. Hang out with that old friend from high school that made you roll on the floor laughing.

Then keep a synchronicity journal. Write down all of the characteristics of the man/woman you want. Write all of it and don't feel bad for wanting a certain trait. The purpose of your life is joy, and it's only you who'll bring you this. Imagine the feeling of being loved by this type of person. Now ask yourself, do you think you're worthy of such a person. If you feel like the answer is no, then well you shouldn't even start looking. Work to love yourself and accept all of you first. Remember, depending on what you believe, either god put you in this body or you chose it. Either god gave you all of these traits and made you 'in his image' or you chose it upon reincarnating. All of this occurred for a reason. Either God knows this reason or your higher self does.

If before finding 'the one,' you still want to achieve your goals, then do it. But remember if you don't love yourself first, your goals and the perfect mate will forever stay unreachable. Tune into the frequency of self-love, and you'll get more in return. Tune into the frequency of self-loathe, you'll only get potentials; what you could be, who you could be with, and the goals you could achieve.

If you don't want to read this article and you'd much rather listen, then be my guest!